We don't meet the right person and the wrong person. We meet a person at the right time, or the wrong time.
Okay, so what's the measure that determines whether this time is right or not? And right for whom?
The time is right for you, and for him or her. Meaning you might meet someone and walk a stretch of the road together, with everything between you going well, and then at a certain point you change, or they change. Not necessarily for the better or for the worse, it's just that your dreams are no longer the same, or your way of thinking isn't the same, or even your beliefs and ideas no longer align. That's exactly what the right time or the wrong time means.
At the beginning, the time was right because you were compatible with each other, and because the circumstances around you, yours or theirs, made it easy and allowed life between you to move forward. Maybe there also weren't enough challenges from life yet to reveal each other's true nature, and whether that's really what each of you expected and hoped for from the other in a given situation. What mattered was that things were going really well for you both. Then one of you developed, academically, intellectually, or on whatever level, or their thinking, beliefs, or needs changed, and that period of their life stopped being the right time that allowed the other person, as they currently were, to remain in their life. And it's very possible the reason is new events or challenges on life's menu that each of you handled differently from what the other expected or hoped for from their partner. What matters is: the time, and you, are no longer right for each other.
Some people will ask me, okay, so what do we do then? As soon as one person becomes different from the other, they just leave and walk away?
I'll tell you: no, this kind of difference doesn't appear overnight!
If the two of them have a habit of always talking, always discussing their thoughts and feelings with each other, they'll notice it the moment the difference starts to appear.
Your life partner has to be your closest friend, first and foremost. They have to be the person you're not afraid of, not embarrassed to tell about anything you're thinking or anything happening to you.
And very often, one of the two talks and talks and talks, expressing what they're feeling, but the other person either doesn't understand, doesn't feel it, or just doesn't want to take the time to feel it or understand it. That's when the distance between the two keeps growing and growing until it becomes bigger than their ability to see the differences that keep happening inside each of them, and then that big difference suddenly shows up all at once at the end, looking like a sudden rupture, but in reality, it's not sudden at all.
Anyway, the point of all this comes down to two things:
1- Every person who has passed through your life needed to be there. The people you left, and who left you, aren't bad people, and you're not a bad person either, it's just that the time and circumstances changed, or you changed, or they changed.
2- If there's someone in your life you want to keep in it, and you're comfortable together, you absolutely must, must, must get into the habit of constantly talking to each other about your feelings, thoughts, beliefs, and dreams, on a regular basis. These things change, believe me, and if you don't talk about them regularly, you'll both be shocked at how far apart you've drifted.
Alright, see you 🤓
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